And now I get it....

I finally get it.  Tonight as I watch and listen to Jay, I finally understand as best as I can the love that Jesus has for us.  As I look down on her and see her horrible diaper rash from the medicine she's taking to cure the ear infection she has and I hear the raspy cough that she tries so hard to release, I being her mother, want to bear her pain and discomfort.  I look at her and I hurt for her.  I hurt enough to want to bear her cross for her because I love her so much.  When you have such a love you'll do anything.  For God so loved the world that He gave His only son.  Such love gives me chills.  To look down and see the shape someone is in and want to do whatever it takes to bear it for them is the unconditional love that is lacking in this world.  He lived for us to die for us, He rose for us to live for us.  Help me Lord to show the same love that you've shown for me.  Surround me with your presence, embed me with your Spirit.  Thank you for working all things out for my good for God is good!

Thankful for His plans for her...

Jay's decided that she is bored tonight so we're up finding things to do at 1:00 am.  I've truly enjoyed listening to her breathe really good tonight almost non stop.  Years ago I would have been complaining about getting up in the middle of the night but at this current moment of my life I "choose" to enjoy and embrace this quiet moment with this sweet precious child.  It's really not that bad after all.  Sometimes we dread things instead of choosing to enjoy them.  It's all a choice.  Tonight I think of all kind of things such as what college will Jay decide to go to and what will be the price of college by then.  How sad I'll be to see her move away from home and venture off into new territory.  I often find myself wondering of the plans God has for her.  I know He has an abundant life planned for her and I'm very thankful that He's using her.  It is my prayer to accept those plans.  I know that sometimes God's plans for us don't come in the packages that we would like for them to but I pray that He does help me to accept His plans for her. Grateful for God's plans, presence and power in our lives.  He's an all wise God.  Where would I be, He only knows.  Thank you Lord.  God is good.