Day 4 without my baby girl

Today was a little better.  I feel God preparing me for tomorrow.  Usually it's the service where it hits me hard and I fall completely apart.  Today I viewed her body, and I had that feeling again.  The feeling of sadness as I left her for the second time, but I had to remind myself, it's just her body, her spirit's gone.  I couldn't bring myself to go to visitation so please forgive me.  I'm praying for God to build my strength for tomorrow.  I'm so thankful for the awareness of life and life's purposes throughout this journey.  God still amazes me because I'm still learning.  I almost have an excitement about her Celebration of Life tomorrow.  I'm feeling more peace.  Life is not about this world and the things of it.  Life is about Glory and everything around it.  I think when we truly realize that the things of this world will soon pass away, truly realize it, we'll be one step closer to God.  Once we begin living as if the things of this world will soon pass away, we'll be even closer.  Lord, you have my attention.  Lord I see your hand, I feel your presence.  Cover my mind and use me as your vessel.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for not giving me more than I can bear.  My family will be in need of your comfort tomorrow.  We will need you to mend our hearts, dry our tears, hold our hands and Lord most of all, show your Glory.  Rain on our celebration tomorrow with your Spirit.  Remove the heaviness of our hearts Lord and breathe new life into us.  Clean out my heart Lord, wash away my sins Lord, show up and show out.  In Jesus' name.  God is good.

Day 4 without Baby Jay

Hurdle #31
Today was a pretty decent day.  We took the kids to see the Lion King to try and stay positive.  Tomorrow I will go and view her body and I know it's going to be hard.  I haven't seen her since they took her from me Thursday night.  It just seems unreal to have someone come and take your baby away.  I'm asking God to provide me with the strength to make it through.  Send your peace Lord.  I trust Him.  I'm starting to get tired and I'm not getting much sleep because I think about her all night and I how I have to get use to not having her next to me.  Lord carry me through this week without my sweet precious baby girl.  It was the absolute best 13 weeks of my life!  So thankful I had them.  Very grateful He blessed me with them.  Thank you Lord,  I know you're not giving me more than I can bear.  Send your grace for tomorrow.  Thank you Lord.  God is good.