Hurdle #12 - Completion of Week 1
I'm falling in love with Baby Jay more and more everyday. We had a pretty good night and we've had a wonderful day. My day is complete just sitting and watching her breathe. I've had to give her oxygen a couple of times because of her rough breathing. I'm just so thankful to be able to spend this time with her. I told Raghan to make sure that when she prays to thank God for blessing us to bring her home and have time with her because it's ONLY because of God that we were able to do so. She says mama she just so cute. I love her little lip. Baby Jay's Hospice nurse came to check on her today. Her name is Charlie and she is so sweet to us. She let me hear the raspiness of her lungs and it made my heart sad. She also sad that Baby Jay stops breathing for 10 to 20 seconds at a time. That totally overwhelms my heart. I've been looking at Jay and asking her how can I possibly let her go?? Charlie said that the intervals of non breathing would get longer and longer until she falls asleep and passes. I can't even bear to think about those words right now. I knew that if we brought her home from the hospital that we would definitely get attached. Please don't be mistaken, I still believe that God is a miraculous healer if that's His will for her life. I pray over her little soft, sweet, gorgeous body every single day. Just in case God does go ahead and bring her home, I've decided to read to her the "Greatest Love Story Ever Told", the story of Jesus and His great love for us. Afterall if she's going home to meet Him she should know all about Him. It's a wonderful thing when I'm reading to her that she stares into my eyes holding onto every word that comes out of my mouth. I just love it! I embrace those moments and I know that one day they'll come back to me when I need them the most. On the other hand I'm reading the book "Heaven is for real" to Raghan. What a coincidence that it starts off with the 4th of July holiday. I'm still praying for God's perfect peace and preparation for all that He has in store for us. I fully believe that His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts and He can do far more exceedingly and abundantly more than I could ever ask or think. Praise God! God is good.
