A Praise on the Inside...

Sometimes you pray so much that you just don't know what else to pray so when I come across these moments in which I'm speechless I ask God to put a song of meditation on my heart.  As I sit and listen to Baby Jay struggling with her breathing, the song on my heart is by J Moss and it says, "There's a praise on the inside, that I can't keep to myself, a holler stirring up, from the depths of my soul, so excuse me if I seem a little giddy or maybe even strange, but praise is the way I say thanks."  I've had my Baby Jay for 8 days now and although I'm giving her more and more oxygen each day, I'm blessed to have had this time.  Time to hold her, time to feed her, time to talk to her, time to stare into her pretty brown eyes as she stares back, time to rock her, time to hear her, time to console her, time to sing to her and time to read nothing more powerful than God's Word to her.  This evening my Pastor came to do Jaylan's dedication.  It really meant a lot.  I sit up most of the nights making sure her chest rises, up and down, up and down.  Sometimes it stops, no not sometimes, a lot of times.  She stops breathing it seems more and more each day, but the fighter in her from non other than the Creator Himself, allows her to come back and take another breath.  I find myself saying more and more each day, "Breathe Jaylan, breathe". But oh if and when that hurdle moment comes when she no longer hears me because her little angelic spirit has already slipped away, what will I do? What will I feel?  It all seems so unreal.  Again, praising Him in spite of.  It's all for His glory, the sadness, the pain, the overwhelming feeling.  I know it's all for His glory.  He loves me, He loves her, we love Him.  We can't go wrong when it's all for His glory.  God is good.