Great and Mighty...

Today was a good day for Baby Jay.  Tomorrow we have shots again so she'll get a weight check.  I'm praying for at least a pound.  So thankful that God continues to hold our hands each and everyday.  I was reminded today that we walk by faith and not by sight.  What power in those words.  How devastating our lives would be if we only had sight to go by.  God has been so good to Jay and I pray that one day she sees for herself just how good He is.  Refusing to take life for granted. Absolutely embracing each and every moment.  Continuing to expect great and mighty things from our Great and Mighty God.  How Great is our God!!  Not underestimating Him and His power for God is good!

Free...

Thanking God for thankful Tuesday even if Jay didn't eat too much at daycare.  She's really congested and hospice is trying to get something called into the pharmacy for her.  I just hate that she doesn't feel good.  Claiming that tomorrow will be a better day and accepting nothing less.  Standing firm as the wind blows around me.  Being strong as the waters try to drown me.  I will never give up because I have been set free.  Since I have been set free I refuse to put the chains back on.  I'm free to believe, free to hope and free to trust Him.  My feet are planted and I praise God that He sent His only son to overcome any and everything in our lives.  Whom or what shall I fear??  God is good.

Happy 9 Weeks Baby Jay!

Hurdle #23
Today has been a wonderful holiday and 9 week hurdle for us and Baby Jay.  I'm so blessed to have her in my life and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her.  We surrender all to the King.  He can do more with all that we have than we could ever imagine.  So thankful today that His thoughts and ways are higher than mine.  Trusting and believing in His plan.  Praying for a magnificent week for Jay.  God is good.

Just waking up...

Jay's favorite position (mine too :))

Happy 9 Weeks pretty girl!



Happy Two Months Baby Jay!

Hurdle #22
What a blessed weekend we've had.  I continue to remain in awe of God as He continues to blow breath through Jay.  Tomorrow is another holiday already.  One holiday ago Jay made her entrance into this world on the 4th of July and little did we know what fireworks God had in store for us.  We continue to see His bright bursts of lightening each and everyday that we have with Jay.  Wow what great plans God had for her to make such an entrance into the world that has set the pace for the rest of her life.  It fits her well.  Trusting God with her life.  The definition of trust is "assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something; dependence on something."  Loving Jay and trusting God to continue to touch her each and everyday.  God is good.

Thankful...

Just thankful today.  My heart is full and overwhelmed and my eyes can't stop bleeding tears of thankfulness.  God is good.

Not lucky, but Blessed...

What a terrific Thursday.  I checked on Baby Jay today at daycare for the first time.  Michael drops her off and picks her up everyday.  It was a great feeling.  I could feel the love when I walked in.  At this time there are only 3 babies in Jay's classroom and there are normally 3 teachers.  Everyone gave me great reports from the assistant to the teachers to the nurse to our hospice nurse.  They all said that Jay was doing great, her breathing is good and she's very alert.  She had her assessment yesterday and we will have a conference in the next couple of weeks with the day school to put together a plan for her.  I don't know the details of the assessment at this point but we were told that the assessment was very good.  So thankful that God continues to show up.  And to think that Jay has the worst of the worst Trisomy.  All I can do is pray from my heart for the people that continue to underestimate my God.  The blood of Jesus...means life.  It means that we are set free and that we are overcomers.  It means that all things are possible.  It means that we who believe have a supernatural power in our lives that some just don't understand.  It means that we can have a peace in the midst of our storms that we don't understand.  When our boat is rocking back and forth on troubled waters, we can sleep and not stress out about it.  It means that we don't have to be strong because when we are weak He is strong.  It means that we can ask anything in His name because He has gone to be with the Father and intercedes for us.  You can't tell me I'm lucky because I don't believe in it but you can call me blessed because I do believe in Him.  I adore Him.  I exalt Him.  I honor Him. I place no one before Him.  God is good.

Singing to Baby Jay...

This is not a very good picture but I had to share.  I was singing to Baby Jay last night "Where would I be, you only know so glad you see through eyes of love, a hopeless case, an empty place, if not for grace."  I used to sing this daily when I was pregnant with Jay.  She was looking at my mouth in this picture and listening intensely until she fell asleep so peacefully in the same position.  Loving Baby Jay and the time we get to spend together.  God is good.

Happy Wonderful Wednesday!

This is the day that the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it!



Daddy and the girls



Mommy and Baby Jay



Bray declined to have his photo taken...

A Good Work...

I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6.  Thankful for God's presence in our lives.  No matter what happens and what challenges present themselves to us I believe that God will finish the good work that He started.  God doesn't do half done jobs.  I'm believing and expecting great things in Baby Jay's life.  I trust Him to continue to turn things around.  Tested but not defeated, challenged but not discouraged.  Trusting and serving God Almighty in Jesus' name.  God is good.

Forgive me Lord...

I've been sitting here reflecting on Jaylan's birth.  We had already been told that we would be put on Comfort Care since Jay was already diagnosed with Trisomy 13.  We had carefully made the decision to deliver in Conway with no Intervention Team on standby.  So with nothing but the grace of God Jay was born and survived.  She had no worldly technology or assistance.  Just her and God.  The day after she was born when she began having lots of trouble breathing and turned completely blue while gasping for breath, we were told by the "doctor" that she was passing away as we all sat and watched, held her and cried, and waited in silence... she survived.  I remember asking God "Lord just take her now, please just take her now I can't handle seeing her struggle."  Michael was saying "Lord please help her breath".  By His grace she still survived.  Once again, it wasn't about any of us.  God was looking down with His plan in tact saying I have much work to be done.  I've asked God to forgive me for getting in His way and the work of His Kingdom because at that moment I was denying His work.  I'm so thankful that His plan overrides me and I pray that His work is being done just as He designed it to be done from the beginning.  I look at Baby Jay now with so much love and I know that babies can work for God too.  If babies can work for God, than what should we be doing?  God is good.

Daily Walk...Sleeping Peacefully

A Vision in my Heart...

What a wonderful peaceful day!  Baby Jay did absolutely wonderful on her 8 week birthday.  She's laying here just listening to all of the noise around her and taking it all in.  We praise God that she can see and hear!  Sometimes we take for granted such important things in our lives.  This evening I read a chapter to Michael from Joel Osteen's book "Your Best Life Now" about not being fearful about things but having faith and trusting God.  Also about speaking and dwelling on positive things and not negative.  As I read the book aloud and held Jay, I was amazed at how she carefully watched my mouth as if she was listening to a much needed bedtime story.  I envision her being a reader, a thinker, a teacher, a leader.  I see her having such a desire to learn and such a need to speak.  I pray that one day she will be able to tell her own testimony in her own words.  Where there is no vision, the people perish.  Oh Lord the vision that I have in my heart.  Envisioning now, Expecting in the future, Praising Him in advance.  God is good!

Happy 8 Weeks Sweet Baby Jay!

Hurdle #21

The Power of Prayer...

I'm so thankful that I am saved by grace.  Where would I be without the blood of Jesus that was shed so many years ago to cover me.  When Jesus died it opened up the airways of communication to the Father.  If Jesus wouldn't have put me as a priority in His life through such love and grace way back then, I wouldn't have the power of prayer today. One thing that has come out of this season that we are in the midst of is prayer.  We have always taught our kids to pray about any and everything but recently we decided to begin family prayer on Sunday nights in order to prepare us for our week.  It's a wonderful thing to hear Raghan's prayer shaping from a sentence prayer to a deep heartfelt prayer as she prays for each member of our family especially Baby Jay.  We know in our hearts that Jay is still here and doing well ONLY because of the power of prayer and God's goodness.  We're thankful to everyone in our lives, those we know and those we don't that have taken their time and heart to send prayers for Baby Jay.  No one will ever know just how grateful we really are.  It's almost overwhelming to even think about.  Once again we see God's handprint all over our lives and we give Him all of the Glory.  Coming boldly before His throne making our specific requests known to God.  We seek Him, we trust Him, we believe Him, we love Him.  He keeps us, He carries us, He covers us, He loves us.  God is good.

Still blessed...

Today has been another great day with Baby Jay.  We started off by sleeping in until 10 am (since we were up several times during the night) and this was one wonderful thing.  Jay had a great first week at daycare and we are definitely looking forward to another great week.  She's even taken a couple of 4 oz bottles this weekend.  She's starting to pop up at 6 am each morning so I guess we're beginning to get on a schedule.  She's getting stronger and stronger and tonight we noticed her trying to roll over.  Still falling in love with her more and more everyday.  Asking God to continue to bless and provide healing for her from head to toe everyday and we receive His healing on her behalf.  We are so grateful and our hearts are so full.  We will continue to speak life over her and whisper prayers of strength and healing in her sweet little ears every night.  Asking God to bless us and equip us to be the parents that He designed us to be and not the parents that we choose to be.  Everything in His plan, everything in His time.  Loving life, loving her, and loving God.  Covered by His grace.  God is good.

All about Him...

Thanking God that it's not about us but all about Him.  Nothing is about us but it's all about Him.  Life is not about us, it's all about Him.  Praising God in the midst of.  God is good.

Time that stands still...

What can I say but another blessed day.  Baby Jay had a great day at daycare and stayed awake for 2 whole hours when I came home.  We went walking this evening and time almost stood still for me.  Raghan on her bike, Braylan in the wagon and Jay in the stroller in the midst of God's wonderful creation.  Once again I'm reminded that He is Creator of ALL.  It was a moment of time that I wish I could hang onto forever.  I couldn't have asked for the moment to be any better.  Thankful because what a Mighty God I serve.  Thankful for the Spirit that lives in me and Thankful for the blood shed out of love.  I've been envisioning Jay crawl, walk and play.  I'm praying that one day she'll be a thinker, a writer, a teacher for where there is no vision the people perish.  Thankful that I am able to keep a vision.  Still looking deep into her eyes as if looking into her soul.  What life I see.  What peace I see.  What love I see.  I know deep down in my soul that she has already been touched by God Almighty Himself.  Thankful that He allows her to rest in the palm of His hand.  God is love and God is good.

Grateful for the Simple Pleasures...

Gazing into eyes...

Patting your little bottom...

Grasping little fingers...

Sitting a while and rockin'...

Brushing small curls...

Kissing soft cheeks...

Taking in your smell while

Rubbing little feet...

Embracing simple pleasures, I'm blessed beyond measure

In His arms you shall remain, we're asking these blessings in Jesus name...

So Grateful... it's just that simple.

God is good.

You're Everything to me...I bow before the KING!

Another blessed day.  Everyone is sound asleep except me and Baby Jay and I get her all to myself.  She's patiently sitting here allowing me to pray over her and sing to her.  She even has a little bit to say to me every once in a while.  Blessed to have this moment.  Milestones said she had a better day than she did yesterday because she ate more.  Thankful to see God's handprint ALL over our lives.  My cup is running over with His favor and I give Him praise for it all.  The song that has been on my heart from sunrise this morning is by Ty Tribbett called Everything to me, "Everything, you're everything to me, everything, you're everything to me, life and breath, you're everything to me, you're my peace, you're everything to me, joy and sorrow, you're everything to me, hope for tomorrow, MASTER, SAVIOR, RULER, REDEEMER, SHELTER, PROVIDER, DELIVERER, HEALER, FATHER, FATHER, FATHER, SAVIOR, JESUS, JESUS, JESUS, JESUS, JESUS, JESUS... I bow before the KING, I bow before the KING, I bow before the KING, I bow before the KING..."  This song takes my breath away because I am so in awe of God right now I'm like a little kid in a candy store and I can't stop grinning from ear to ear.   My heart is full, my mind is focused and my soul rejoices. Who wouldn't serve a God like this??  Seeking ye first the kingdom of God as I continue to delight myself in the Lord.  I will trust Him and lean not on my own understanding as I continue to acknowledge Him so that He can continue to direct my paths. My God, My Father, I bow before the King.  God is good!

Happy 7 Weeks Baby Jay!

Hurdle #20
Today Jay is 7 weeks old and that is definitely something to give a praise report for.  God continues to blow me away everyday.  She's doing really good and had a wonderful first day at daycare.  I couldn't wait to see her and of course she was asleep when I finally did.  She was fussy most of last night because she was so hungry and woke up every 2 hours to eat.  Don't get me wrong I am not complaining!  God is truly blessing us everyday and I don't take one minute of it for granted.  I am so thankful that we get to embrace her and love on her.  I'm still coming before the throne and making specific requests to God to cover Baby Jay from head to toe.  We all are.  I can't believe that these 7 weeks have flown by so fast!  They've been the best 7 weeks of my life.  I will continue to stand firm on His word and believe and receive His promises.  I'm thankful that He gives me the authority to trample over everything that Satan sends our way.  We don't receive anything from him but we reject and bind it all.  He wants me to be down and wants me to think and focus on the worst and he always wants me to minimize my God but he must realize that my God will always be BIGGER than him and he'll never come close to comparing to Him.  Satan will never take my joy.  My joy is permanent and cannot be erased, stolen, broken, damaged, picked apart, or DESTROYED!  I choose to focus on the positive and to speak life.  My God, My God.  Praising Him in the midst of, serving Him in spite of and loving Him because of, in Jesus name.  God is good.

Baby Jay's first day of daycare!

Love...

I won't be overwhelmed...

What a marvelous day.  Today we got out and went to church for the first time since Baby Jay entered the world and it was great.  Michael had to attend our church because he does our Sight and Sound ministry. My friend Brandy and I, along with the kids visited New Life Church here in Conway and it was a wonderful service in which Jay slept through the whole service.    One of NLC praise songs really ministered to me, it's called God I look to you and it says "God I look to You, I won't be overwhelmed, Give me vision to see things like You do, God I look to You, You're where my help comes from, Give me wisdom, You know just what to do, I will love You Lord my strength, And I will love you Lord my shield, And I will love You Lord my rock, Forever all my days I will love you God, Hallelujah our God reigns, Hallelujah our God reigns, Hallelujah our God reigns, Forever all my days Hallelujah."  During the service a lady sitting a few chairs down from Baby Jay came to say hi during the welcome service and took a peek at Baby Jay in her carseat.  She asked how old she was and I told her six weeks not knowing what she was thinking while observing her cleft lip.  After the service was over she came back over and said, "I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself to you, my name is Gina and I to have a child with a disability.  My son was born deaf and he's 34 years old now.  It introduced me to a different world and I had to learn a lot of sign language.  Currently he and his wife along with my two grandchildren are on a mission taking songs and messages and putting them into videos by sign language for other deaf people."  She said "God wanted me to let you know that He's going to use you and your baby to do His work and just like me you're going to have to go through some things, but He's going to use you both."  It gave me chills.  Here this lady was that didn't know a thing about me or Baby Jay, but yet she allowed God to use her to bless me.  God knew just what I needed to hear and I praise His name for it.  Bowing before the King.  God is good.

Still expecting great things...

Although we've had a pretty good day, Baby Jay has had her share of apnea tonight.  You can tell she's trying to breathe because her body is moving but she's not making that connection to exchange that breath.  We've put her back on the oxygen and it's amazing what it does to her.  She wakes up instantly and today she started making noises as if she wanted to talk :).  We will continue to go to the Father, boldly before His throne asking specifically that He continues to breathe life into her.  With Him we can't go wrong.  Lord please let your strength be made perfect in my weakness.  She's beginning to take 3 oz bottles which we're ecstatic about.  I can definitely tell that she's gaining weight because the newborn pampers that she started off wearing in the hospital are now beginning to fit snug.  She's blessing us everyday and we're loving her everyday.  Monday is coming sooner than I want it to.  Praising God that my valley isn't dark but full of light because Jesus is walking with me through it and His light shines so bright.  We are more than conquerors.  We will continue to take it day by day and allow God to work in Baby Jay's life day by day.  We will continue to expect great things and stand firm on His word for it won't return void. Praying that God touches Baby Jay from head to toe and make her well and whole. All things are possible for he that believes.  Lord I believe.  God is good.

Nurse Charlie and Baby Jay

He is my potter...

Today's been a pretty good day although Baby Jay had quite a bit of apnea.  Charlie seems to think it's because one of her shots gave her diarrhea yesterday so she was very fussy which probably wore her little body out.  We gave her some oxygen and she was up like lightening she just needed a little support.  Speaking of Charlie today was our last day with her.  Hospice has reassigned her to another area.  She's been so much support for me over these last six weeks.  She's been such a great part of our lives it just makes me sad to lose her.  I told Michael that I thought I was going to cry today when she walked out the door for the last time.  She was definitely a blessing for us and just what we needed exactly when we need it and we are thankful to God for that.  Today was my last scheduled day at home away from work because on Monday I will be back into full swing.  I'll cherish this time that I've had with my family forever.  I pray that God takes care of my angel baby.  I'm embracing the depths of our lives, we have them by the grace of God.  I will continue to speak great things for Baby Jay into the atmosphere.  We are the clay, He is the potter.  We are the works of His hand.  Thanking God for being Omniscient.  He knows my heart, He knows my thoughts, He knows my feelings.  He is all knowing and all powerful and that's alright with me.  God is good.

His Spirit...

Constantly in prayer that God continues to surround our family with His Spirit.  I'm asking Him to rain on Baby Jay with His love, grace, and mercy and that He allows her the days, months and years to do the work that He created only her to do for Him.  Praising God in the midst of for His mercy endureth forever.  Thanking Him for restoring my soul for when I am weak He is strong.  The song on my heart this morning is "Rain on Us" by Earnest Pugh, it says, "Let your glory fill this place, Let your all-consuming fire, fill this tabernacle, Purify our hearts, Surround us in this place, Want you to breathe new life within us, Send a refreshing glory, Purify our hearts.  Rain on us, Breathe on us, Shower down, Shower down, Send your Spirit, Lord."  Touching the hem of His garment.  God is good.

Chosen for a reason...

Baby Jay took her first shots like a pro yesterday!  She cried for about 5 seconds and that was it.  She slept most of the day after her shots but I don't think they bothered her.  She weighs 5.5 lbs!  It's still not her birth weight but at least it's coming up and moving into the right direction.  The clinic also called when I got home and the doctor wants to start Jay on RSV shots in October just as a precaution since she's going to be starting daycare.  I'm so glad that they've finally given her some value and they're finally thinking about her future that I feel confident that she will have.  Today we finished her enrollment with Milestones.  I feel really good about her starting on Monday, plus there's a lady from our church that volunteers in her room.  I'm going to miss her and it will definitely be hard to leave her in someone else's comfort.  I'm so use to having her in the comfort of our home so this will be totally different but it will be a hurdle that I know we'll get over.  We've made the big decision to remove her DNR that we signed when she was born.  God has shown us His tremendous power day by day so we feel that it is no longer needed and now we know that she is definitely here for His purpose.  We do not want to get in His way as we often do.  Our purpose on this earth is to bring Him Glory and it is our prayer that we don't get sidetracked by life and miss that purpose.  To hear Nurse Charlie make that call to the doctor to remove the DNR was a huge relief and felt so wonderful. We have great peace about it so we know in our hearts that it was the right thing to do.  We are continuing to speak great things over Baby Jay.  It's been a wonderful week with Raghan starting school and tying up loose ends.  Braylan will start preschool next week.  We are expecting awesome and powerful things to happen in the days and weeks ahead with all of our family.  I know His Glory will definitely come forth!  We trust Him, He chose us.  We love Him, He loves us.  God is good.

We just got to the doctor's office for Baby Jay's 6 week shots and we are claiming great things for her weight check this morning! God is good.

Happy 6 Weeks Baby Jay!

Hurdle #19
Happy 6 Weeks to my sweet Baby Jay laying beside me taking sweet breaths of life!  The Lord just keeps showing up and showing out in our lives and we are beyond thankful!  6 whole weeks and we are claiming even more life for this sweet child.  Totally thankful that when the doctors give up and say there is nothing that can be done, My God, My God can do more.  We will continue to stand firm on HIS Word and we know that HIS Word will Never return void.  In John 14, Jesus tells us that He that believes will do greater works because He goes to the Father.  I'm excited that we are bathed daily by the presence of His Spirit.  Praise God, because of the blood shed so long ago by none other Jesus Christ that is still so fresh today, I have "Kingdom Authority"!   The song on my heart most days, "Where would I be, you only know, so glad you see through eyes of love".   James 5:16 tells me that the prayers of the righteous availeth much.  I bind the actions of Satan and I open the door to the annointing of God. What Satan meant for bad God meant for good.  The battle is the Lord's and God reigns forever.  We will continue to speak life over sweet Baby Jay.  Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Liberty!  We claim VICTORY over what is already done for by His stripes, once again by HIS stripes Baby Jay is healed.  Baby Jay is a work in progress and I fully trust God to breathe throughout her wonderfully and fearfully made body consistently.  I trust Him too much to doubt Him.  Yes I am a Believer!  God is good!